Cold Glory

You know what’s great about writing an ice cream blog?

One hundred percent of my constituents participate.

Members of our political establishment should take heed. After years and years of declining voter turnout in American elections, we’re tired of choosing the lesser of two evils (three in some cases). It’s time to put someone (something?) on the ballot we actually want to vote for.

I nominate ice cream.

To illustrate my point, I solicited votes on what kind of ice cream I should make this week and everyone in the family chimed in. Unfortunately, when the votes were tallied, I was faced with three different choices.

Note: I didn’t vote since I chose Pistachio last week by executive order.

Now, three different candidates might sound like grounds for domestic conflict or even civil war, but it wasn’t. Nor did we go all Neapolitan. We just opted to take turns. That way everybody won, eventually.

This week’s selection was my youngest’s suggestion. Pretty much. Her original choice had been Mint Chocolate Chip. Then the chief creative officer (ahem) suggested it might be more fun to have irregular chunks of chocolate instead of the little pellets we put in chocolate chip cookies. She was hesitant at first, but when I told her it would involve chopping up a big chocolate bar with a chef’s knife, she readily agreed.

That’s compromise, folks! So easy even nine-year-olds can do it. No wonder it’s the key to successful representative democracies everywhere, or republics for that matter.

Anyway, after all the backroom wrangling and the input from the Mint and Chocolate caucuses and a green light from the all-powerful Cream lobby, we settled on Mint Chocolate Chunk as this week’s selection.

Then we got down to governing.

Starting with a  platform comprised of Grandma’s Vanilla Ice Cream, minus the vanilla thanks to a line item veto, our leadership opted for a combination of fresh spearmint and mint extract to give the final product a nice greenish hue without tints or dyes. We did this by pureeing the herbs into the cream both to infuse it with flavor and give it a uniform color.

Subsequently, citing concerns that the mint flavor might be lost in the coldness of the finished dessert, a teaspoon of extract was added to supercharge the “minty-ness”. Then the custard went into the refrigerator for a few hours to allow the flavors to marry more completely.

During the freezing process, our legislators folded the chocolate chunks into the mixture where it froze into place suspended in the green ice cream.

At least that was the plan.

Alas, we campaign in poetry and govern in prose. Or is it cream versus iced milk?

Whatever.

It didn’t turn out like we planned. The green of the fresh mint turned slightly brown in the freezing process. The full teaspoon of mint extract was also a tad overwhelming. My wife, the real chief executive, even complained about my low quality one pound bar of milk chocolate tasting waxy.

(Sigh)

It was not universally panned. My eldest daughter thought it was the best thing, well, since ice cream. But it wasn’t a landslide victory by any means.

It was, like any democratic effort, a work in progress.

Adjustments were made, including reducing the amount of mint extract and improving the quality of chocolate used. (I have appended these changes to the recipe below.)

Note: I’m still not sure what to do with the color of the ice cream, but I give you permission to use food coloring if you like.

Okay, so the ice cream making process didn’t turn out as pretty as I’d hoped. Still, it’s a fair piece less repugnant than the sausage making/legislative process. It goes better with cookies too.

Don’t forget to vote!

Mint Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream
(about 2 quarts)
1 ½ cup milk
¾ cup sugar
2 T flour
A few grains salt
2 eggs or 3 yolks (pasteurized, if possible, see note)
2 oz fresh mint, minced
1 ½ cup cream
¼ – ½ t mint extract
1 cup chocolate, chopped (milk, dark, what you will)

1. Heat milk to 180-190ºF with sugar, flour and salt, stirring until thick, cover for 10 minutes.
2. Beat eggs and add ½ cup of mixture while beating, then add eggs to mixture.

HEALTH NOTE:     Since you’re dealing with eggs here, you need to take care when cooking the custard. Too much cooking and the custard gets lumpy, too little and you risk salmonella.  Another alternative is to use pasteurized eggs.

1. Heat the mixture for one minute over medium heat, then cool with plastic wrap or wax paper pressed onto the top of the mixture to keep it from developing a skin. Cool for several hours or overnight.
2. Blend mint into the cream with an immersion blender and refrigerate for several hours.
3. Add cream and mint extract to the custard mixture.
4. Fold chocolate chunks into the custard and freeze.

Photo Credit: “As American As Apple Pie?  Nuh-uh,” by the author. 

As they used to say in Chicago, “vote early and often” for your favorite flavor of ice cream.  The next democratically elected variety could be your choice. And if not, well, you’ll probably like it anyway. Place your nomination in the comments section.